


absence and comfort

by moonlights0nata



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! VRAINS
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Multi, Other, Season/Series 02 Spoilers, That's why major character death, but yusaku and kusanagi are there 4 him, i am Sad Takeru is Sad we are all Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-21
Updated: 2019-06-21
Packaged: 2020-05-15 15:53:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19298920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonlights0nata/pseuds/moonlights0nata
Summary: Some days he still thinks Flame will pop up unannounced, apologize for taking so long to come back. He’d be back and comfort Takeru after he had a nightmare, like he always used to do, he’d reach over with his small hands for Takeru’s face and tell him he was safe, right here, with him. They’d press their foreheads together and everything would be okay.





	absence and comfort

**Author's Note:**

> SO i started writing this right after Season 2 ended cause, as the tittle from my google docs says, WE ARE SAD FLAME IS GONE  
> This is just angst times with Takeru but also comfort. I didn't tag anything as shippy but you could read the TakeFlame or TakeYusa as shippy (I like both ships so it slips in my writing )
> 
> @ Vrains.....give us Flame back, i miss him

Takeru wakes up with a scream lodged in his throat and cold sweat running down his back. He could almost tear the sheets apart with how tight his grip on them is.

His apartment is silent save for his ragged breathing and the faint sound of water droplets falling in the kitchen sink. Inhale, exhale. Drip, drip. This repeats for a while until Takeru doesn’t feel his heart will jump out of his chest and he sits up. His eyes easily find his duel disk sitting on his desk.

The empty Duel Disk. Aside from Ai, no other Ignis had made it back from the fight from Bohman. Losing Flame is still a fresh wound in Takeru’s heart, and he feels that familiar ache settling in his heart, a clog in his throat.

Some days he still thinks Flame will pop up unannounced, apologize for taking so long to come back. He’d be back and comfort Takeru after he had a nightmare, like he always used to do, he’d reach over with his small hands for Takeru’s face and tell him he was safe, right here, with him. They’d press their foreheads together and everything would be okay.

But that is wishful thinking. Flame is gone, and Takeru doesn’t think there’s a way to get him back, if he vanished along with Bohman. 

_ ‘I want you to be safe, Flame.’  _ He’d said. If he had been stronger, somehow--maybe he could have protected Flame, maybe he could have saved him, he could have--

_ ‘I believe in our future.’ _ Moisture gathers at his eyes. He could have reached out for that future Flame spoke of. That future they both wanted, together.

It hurts. It hurts and Flame isn’t here to stop Takeru when he impulsively throws the sheets off of him and throws a jacket over his pajama shirt. He toes in his sneakers at the door and remembers to grab his keys before he leaves the apartment. He’s not sure where he’s going but as soon as he’s in the street, he begins walking faster and faster until he’s running. 

It’s still dark outside but it must be early morning, before sunrise, and the streets are practically deserted. He passes streetlight after streetlight, a blur to his tear stricken eyes, but he doesn’t stop running even as he cries, wishing the biting wind could chase the tears and the pain away but it just leaves him sweating and cold and panting heavily.

When he finally stops, he leans his hands on his knees and coughs, legs too heavy to keep going and feeling like he’s going to hack out a lung. When he blinks and looks up, he’s surprised to see where his feet lead him to. He walks the short distance to the railing, watching the sea and the horizon as the sun just barely begins to peak out of it. 

This same spot, where Yusaku and him had talked about wanting to keep Ai and Flame safe. The memory is still so vivid, the feelings from back then still true to his heart. He’d wanted the Ignis to be safe. Even if it might mean he’d be lonely without Flame, if at least he knew he could keep him out of harm’s way, it would have been okay.

But this is not. They had been torn apart by force, not choice, and Takeru can only feel regret. Regret for not being stronger, regret for how he’ll never be able to repay everything Flame did for him, regret for not being able to tell him how much his presence alone was a source of strength for him. 

He’d lost him.

Takeru grits his teeth and before he can stop himself he kicks the railing with enough force to bruise, but he can barely feel it then.

“Fucking dammit !” He yells, the sound echoing in the quiet of the morning, but in that moment he doesn’t care who hears or if his throat goes hoarse. “Fuck--” His voice cracks and he slams his curled hand down on the railing too, the cold metal hitting his skin and making a tingle run down his arm. It hurts but he doesn’t care, he doesn’t care. His other hand grips the railing and he lowers his head, frame shaking as he feels the sobs bubbling up his throat again.

“...Takeru?”

Takeru’s breath hitches. He turns around and is baffled to see Kusanagi standing there, hair disheveled and wearing what he assumes are pajamas under his jacket. He looks like he fell out of bed.

“K-Kusanagi-san? What--” He rubs at his eyes and clears his throat. “What are you doing here?”

“I should be asking you that.” Kusanagi scratches the back of his head, pointing with a thumb behind him. “I heard you yell from the truck.”

Takeru quickly connects the dots when he glances behind Kusanagi and sees the hot dog stand a little further away, where Kusanagi usually has it during the daytime, the tables with the chairs flipped on top of them. He presses his lips together, stammering.

“S-Sorry. I didn’t mean to--wake you. I came here on a whim.”

Kusanagi seems to be more awake now, as he frowns and looks at him properly. “You look terrible, kiddo. What happened?”

Takeru shakes his head, sniffling. “I-It’s nothing I--I just came out for a run. I lost track of where I was going.”

“You went out for a run. At five in the morning. In your pajamas?” Kusanagi sounds incredulous, arching an eyebrow at him. Takeru winces, looking away.

“...Yes?”

Kusanagi observes him for a moment longer before sighing. “C’mon.” He gestures for Takeru to follow. “It’s cold. At least come in to get some coffee.”

After a moment of hesitation, Takeru moves to follow him. The inside of the truck is blissfully warmer, and Takeru finds a rolled out futon on the floor, chairs pushed to a corner and Kusanagi’s everyday clothes hanging from one of them. 

“Hope you don’t mind sitting on the floor right now. It’s kinda cramped, sorry.”

“N-No, it’s okay…” Takeru takes that as a silent invitation and he moves to sit cross legged on one corner of the futon, staring at his feet. He hears the sound of the coffee machine (a terrible, dying sound) and Kusanagi moving things around. A few beats later a steaming coffee mug appears in Takeru’s vision and he accepts it with a quiet thank you, cradling it in his hands.

Kusanagi sits a little further back, sprawling comfortably, facing him with his own mug in one hand. They both quietly sip their coffee, and the warm liquid soothes Takeru’s throat for a moment.

“I’m sorry for waking you up, again…” Takeru begins, feeling like he’s intruding. After everything that had happened with Lightning, Kusanagi definitely deserves rest. He can only imagine how many restless nights the man had had, worried about his brother.

Kusanagi shrugs. “I was startled, that’s all. Didn’t expect to hear someone yelling--thought there had been an accident or something.” He eyes him again, worried. “I don’t want to be pushy but I do wanna know why you went--” He makes air quotes with his free hand. “--’out for a run’ at this hour and look like you’ve been crying.”

Takeru’s shoulders rise, tense, and he turns the mug around in his hands.

“I...had a nightmare.” He begins slowly, and Kusanagi doesn’t say anything, waiting for Takeru to go on. “It wasn’t--something I’m not used to, but--” He purses his lips. “--Flame would usually be there. To comfort me.” He says it in a mutter, and god he feels like a child right then and there, small and sad and scared.

“I-I know he’s  _ gone _ but I still--I still think he’s going to come back out of the blue one day you know? Like when I first met him, popping into my Duel Disk.” He lets out a watery laugh. “But I know that’s not going to happen and I just--felt so frustrated by my own powerlessness at not being able to protect him and he--he wasn't there to stop me so I just--I  _ ran _ .” He puts the mug down before it can slip off his hands, now trembling again.  “I wasn’t thinking. I just wanted it to stop hurting.” He curled one hand over his jacket, over his chest, hunching over himself.

He hears Kusanagi put his mug down as well before he slides over to his side, placing a hand on top of his head. The gesture is small but it prompts Takeru to keep talking, words slipping from his mouth before he can stop them.

“ _ I miss him so much _ .” He brings his knees to his chest, burying his face there. Tears stain his pajama pants. “I wanted to keep moving forwards with him. I told him I’d keep him safe--” He shakes his head. “In the end I couldn’t. I couldn’t--do anything for him--he was always the one supporting me I--” He can’t talk anymore, sobs making his words break. He can’t hold them back anymore, and when Kusanagi pulls him against his chest with an arm around his shoulders, the dam breaks.

Takeru clings to Kusanagi’s clothes and allows himself to cry, hiccuping loudly. He doesn’t have the energy anymore to even feel embarrassed about it, about the snotty tearful mess his face must be right now. He cries until his eyes are itchy and dry, Kusanagi’s hand stroking his back.

“It’s not your fault.” Kusanagi mutters once Takeru appears calmer, having slumped against the other man’s side.“I’m sure...Flame wanted to protect you just as much as you did.”

“He protected me, when we dueled Bohman.” He sniffles. “But I couldn’t do the same. I...I failed him.”

“Takeru. I get what It’s like, failing at protecting someone you hold dear.” At this Takeru glances up at Kusanagi. His smile is rueful. “After all, I couldn’t do anything to protect Jin from being taken...I couldn’t get him back from Lightning myself. I...hurt Yusaku just trying to do that.” Takeru can feel the guilt in his words, see the regret in his face. “I feel like I failed him too.”

“Kusanagi-san, no--You did everything you could to try to get your brother back, you--you told me how far you went for him after the Lost Incident.” He shakes his head. “I don’t think you failed him.”

Kusanagi’s face softens, hand reaching out to ruffle Takeru’s hair a little. “And I don’t think you failed Flame, Takeru. In every duel where he could have been taken, you protected him. You are here now, still alive...I think Flame most of all wanted that. Even if he couldn’t be here with you.”

Takeru rubs his nose with the sleeve of his jacket. “...It still doesn’t feel right.” 

“I know.” Kusanagi keeps stroking his head. “I won’t lie to you, Maybe it never will feel right.”

It isn’t a comforting thought but Takeru will take it. He doesn’t want Flame’s death to feel right. Right now he wants him back--he doesn’t think there’ll be a day when he doesn’t, just like when his parents died. He wants them back, too, even when he has accepted they wouldn’t.

He just hates having to go through this again. Someone dear being taken from him again and being helpless about it.

There’s a knock on the truck’s door that makes Takeru jump. Kusanagi grins, patting his shoulder as he stands up.

“Right on time.” 

Takeru sits forwards, peering behind Kusanagi as he opens the door. His eyes widen when Yusaku walks in, a paper bag on his arms. He looks around until he spots Takeru and his eyes widen too, probably taking in Takeru’s disheveled and red eyed look. He must really look like a mess right now and he feels a little embarrassed that Yusaku is seeing him like this.

“Y-Yusaku?” God his voice is so scratchy too. “What--” He doesn’t get anything else out as in one swift move Yusaku tosses the paper bag at Kusanagi--who just barely catches it with a startled noise--and then kneels on the floor in front of Takeru, arms engulfing him in a hug. Takeru blinks, surprised by the tight hold Yusaku has on him.

“Takeru.” His grip relaxes a little after breathing out his name. “Are you--” He must have wanted to ask if Takeru was okay but quickly stopped. Yusaku knows the answer without asking. He must already be able to tell what’s wrong. Takeru sighs, easing against him, and lifts his arms to hug Yusaku back.

“No.” He replies, anyways. He nuzzles his face against Yusaku’s shoulder, shutting his eyes. “But  _ this _ ...makes it a little better.”

Yusaku squeezes him in reply. Takeru hears Kusanagi shuffling around them, as if being careful not to disturb them. He hears the coffee machine working again.

“What are you doing here though, Yusaku?” He asks, finally, peering up.

“Kusanagi-san messaged me.” Yusaku lifts his head and gestures with it at the paper bag Kusanagi set on the counter. “I brought breakfast.”

Takeru smiles, slow and tentative. “Thank you.”

“No…” Yusaku glances at him, something crossing his face. “It’s the least I can do.” He lowers his eyes then. Takeru thinks he’s getting better at reading Yusaku, and his posture, his expression, they make him wonder if Yusaku is blaming himself for being unable to save Flame and the other Ignises. 

“It’s not your fault Flame is gone, Yusaku.” He mutters, and it startles Yusaku into looking up, convincing Takeru he’d been thinking just that. 

“It’s not yours either.” 

Takeru shakes his head. “I can’t...help thinking about how I could have probably done something if...I don’t know, if maybe I had been stronger and had defeated Bohman myself--maybe I could have saved him then.” He scrunches his eyes shut. “But no matter how much I regret it I won’t get him back.” His voice breaks again over the last words. 

A beat passes and then he feels Yusaku’s hands cupping his face. His thumbs stroke his cheeks and Takeru blinks his eyes open, silent tears having rolled out without him realizing, Yusaku brushing them away. He places his hands over Yusaku’s, leaning into his touch, letting his warmth be a small comfort even when his heart aches.

“Sorry.” 

“Don’t be.” Yusaku shakes his head. “It hurts. Let it.”

They stay like that for a beat longer before moving to sit more comfortably leaning against the wall adjacent to the counter, sides pressed together, Yusaku’s arm slung over his shoulders. It’s quiet save for the sound of coffee being poured, of the clatter of plates and the paper bag being open. 

“Hey, let’s go have breakfast outside.” Kusanagi pipes up, smiling at them when they peer up at him. “It’s early so we might get to see the sunrise.”

Takeru is reluctant to move from his spot next to Yusaku, but then Yusaku is standing up and offering him a hand. He takes it. Even after he pulls him up, Yusaku doesn’t let go off his hand as he guides him outside, Kusanagi following after them with a tray with their food and drinks.

They grab three of the flipped chairs and set them on the ground to sit. When Kusanagi sets down the tray on the table, Takeru’s eyes light up at the sight of muffins and other pastries Yusaku bought. He thought he wouldn’t be hungry, but after running and crying so much, he finds his stomach growling.

He reaches for one of the muffins, finding it’s still a little warm. 

“The bakery near my apartment opens early. These are the first batch.” Yusaku commented and a muffin for himself, Kusanagi doing the same after a moment. They eat quietly and watch the horizon, the sky painted in hues of purple and orange as the sun rises, bathing the ocean in its light. Takeru can hear the first seagulls cry in the distance, hears other birds chirp as the day begins and everything comes alive. The rising sun reminds him it is another day.

When Takeru shifts and leans his head on Yusaku’s shoulder, Yusaku squeezes his hand and rests his cheek on his hair. He meets Kusanagi’s eyes for a moment and the man flashes him a tired, but fond smile. Takeru’s chest feels a little more light. 

Flame’s absence is a present ache in his heart; maybe it will never stop hurting, and the idea of moving forwards without Flame has yet to sit right with him. He is sure one too many days he will wake up waiting to hear him pipe up from the Duel Disk again.

But he’s not alone to bear with this. As he watches the sun rise, illuminating Kusanagi’s and Yusaku’s faces, Takeru thinks of how safe he feels with them. He crashed, but they are here to hold him up.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm also at
> 
> moonlights0nata on tumblr  
> @moons0nata (main) and @pocketwriting (wips/ideas) on twitter


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